Giving advice, taking advice

ADVICE – Guidance, recommendation or suggestion about a future course of action.

It can either be given or taken. When we talk about giving advice, it is often stated that ‘Advising someone is the easiest thing to do’. You are not going to be held accountable and whether the receiving party actually heeds your suggestion or not, is not your concern too. How does one otherwise explain the tons of money which consultants make? In reality, there are those set of people who have an opinion on everything and deem it their right to give ‘unsolicited advice’ to all and sundry on all matters. Some of  ‘nosey-parkers’ may be well-meaning but what they fail to see is that every individual has his own views & opinions on matters and it would be prudent to stay away and not voice your opinion unless asked for. This is most relevant in cases where one is dealing with a close relative or friend who is much younger to you in years. The temptation to be too patronizing is best avoided.

There is this other scenario when one’s advice is actually sought by the other person. In such circumstances, some who give their advice feel offended if the same is not considered in its entirety by the other person. Reeks of immaturity! People do want to consider different points of view and different options before zeroing in on one. If the option suggested/advised by you is not the ‘chosen one’, why fret? Do consultants feel that way? No, they make their pile and move on. Unfortunately, at the personal level, free advice is sought and given & perhaps this leads to unreasonable expectations. If the advice given is followed by the receiver to the T and the results are not as favorable as expected, will the ‘advisor’ compensate the other? No.

The other part of this is ‘asking for advice’. I find a bigger problem here, or rather two of them. This is applicable equally to situations at home and in the workplace. Absolutely no difference at all. The first problem is to identify who the right person is to advice us in that particular situation. People have different skill-sets, different experience & above all different equations with us. So seeking out the right person for advice in particular situations/on particular issues is surely a skill-set one has to develop. Second, is spelling out the problem-statement clearly. This is where most people go wrong. When people come to me for advice, ( surprising, but some of them do) more often than not I find that the problem statement or issue is not expressed clearly. What comes out is muddled information, with many a time the symptom being mistaken for the core problem combined with an overwhelming sense of anxiety over the outcome. Must confess that I get a tad worked up at times but then I try calmly to make the other person break the issue into smaller blocks, go back in time as to the root of the issue, the expected outcomes and what comes in the way — all this should come from the person himself/herself gradually. This approach works well and the recipient often values the approach more than the advice itself.

Giving advice when sought is not the easiest thing in the world,believe me.